So, this is Christmas.

It is that time of year I thought I would never enjoy again. Surprisingly, things are not as bad as I thought nor anywhere close to how I imagined them to be. Chirstmas does not mean as much to me as it used to, that is still true, but I think I am making the best of it. I am spending Christmas Eve with my best friend, his parents, and my dad who is visiting from Connecticut. Being with friends and family is great...who could ask for more? I think I am beginning to realize things are only as bad as you let them be.

I'm trying to teach a friend how to take control of his irrational feelings...my job is all about educating parents on how to deal with their children with special needs...I never really teach myself lesson, though. I guess I should practice what I preach!

The point of this rant? Just to rant. LOL

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

letting go

There are things in my life that I have become really attached to that may be preventing me from growing as a person. The struggle I've been dealing with is that I don't know how to move on without letting go of those attachments. I'm sure there is a way and that time will help but in the interim it is a constant tug-of-war in my heart. Hopefully, I can pick apart the things I want to keep with me as I grow and leave behind the memories that are impeding me. I wonder if we ever “get over” things, though. I am starting to understand that every experience grafts itself in our minds and that we never really “move on.” I guess the real feat is to be able to live your life in a happy and productive way while learning from those experiences. At least I hope so!

favors

Another thing I've been thinking about....when someone else is going out of their way to do you a favor, I think it is only fair that you are respectful of their time and considerate of their feelings. Being overly demanding of people who are helping you is a sure-fire way to make them less likely to help you out again in the future.

Focus on What You Have

The life lesson I am currently working on is to focus on and appreciate what you have instead of what you don't have. Why is this such a struggle for me? I have so many wonderful things going on in my life but I am still so sad about the things I don't have anymore. I've lost so much in the last year that it has been easy to wallow in self-pity and regret. It is almost comforting. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. I am stuck here, especially with Christmas approaching, evaluating and re-evaluating to the point of exhaustion. I don't think it helps that my brain works about 20 times faster than most peoples. Maybe that's why I have a hard time focusing on so many things...because I'm too hyper-focused on other things.

My own intervention strategy for myself is to take 10 minutes per day to think about all of the great things going on in my life. I hope it helps!